Forgotten Now

We often say we feel “not good enough.” But compared to whom—and based on whose definition of “good”? What or who is the benchmark to judge? What are we running towards?

Maybe somewhere on this path of becoming our “ideal self”, living my dream lifestyle. In my case, too, I forgot to keep a check on my current version. I abandoned the inner child because I was too busy chasing my future self. The abandonment was so deep that I began feeling guilty for taking care of myself. Having a little longer lunch break felt guilty. Workout felt “useless”. Pursuing hobbies made me feel selfish.

I kept postponing life. Prioritising is important, but pausing my entire life isn’t. I convinced myself I would continue “enjoying life” after exams. Maybe we’re all doing the same—chasing a goalpost that keeps moving. This is called the “arrival fallacy”. Living by the false belief that “everything will be sorted” once we achieve a certain goal.

Thus, the solution is to stop having a goalpost in the first place or keep hustling more? It’s neither. The answer is to chase with awareness. Goals give direction, but meaning gives fulfilment. Without meaning, achievement feels empty. Without goals, life feels directionless.

The solution is to find your “why” for anything you want to achieve or gain. Why do you want to reduce weight and achieve a certain weight? Why do you want to crack that exam? Why do you want to get that job? It shouldn’t be as surface-level as “oh, to look thin” or “to make more money”; strong intent should be present. Get real, raw and honest with it: do you want to reduce weight to prove something to someone? Do you want to bag that job to look good on LinkedIn? Is it a right and sensible motive? Will it make you happy?

It’s not a cakewalk to discover that. The noise of society’s opinion, cutthroat competition and peer pressure make it even worse. Maybe the goal isn’t to become someone else. Maybe it’s to stop abandoning who you already are. I’m still figuring out my “why.” But at least now, I’m not postponing my life while I do. Hope you find yours too : )